BY HEAD OF SCHOOL ANDREA KASSAR

Over the last month, I have had a terrific time hosting Cookies and Conversation with students by grade. It takes place in the beautiful Alumnae Courtyard outside of our campus's historic Pitcairn House; it is an optional drop-in time for students to munch on cookies and chat with their classmates and me about anything that is on their minds. No agenda, simply an opportunity for them to ask questions or tell me anything they want me to know. We cover a lot of ground—everything from, “Ms. Kassar, how do you feel about Taylor Swift?” or “Ms. Kassar, do you think a hot dog is a sandwich?” to their thoughts about homework, campus activities, the environment, social justice, ethical dilemmas, and the polarized state of the world today.

Meeting with each grade is a wonderful way to appreciate the developmental arc of adolescence and to hear about the things that matter most to them at each age. No matter where the conversation takes us, I leave feeling invigorated by their curiosity and earnest engagement. I leave feeling inspired by their generation.

At a recent Cookies session, a 7th grade student asked me what my favorite song is—a tough question! One song that came to mind is Simon and Garfunkel’s “Old Friends/Bookends”; since then, I’ve been revisiting the lyrics. It is about two friends in the current moment and in the distant future: “Can you imagine us years from today/ Sharing a park bench quietly?” What I love most about this song is that, through imaginary time travel, it contains nostalgia for both youth and age—it contains multiple ages and generations all at once.

This is also what I love about schools. Like Cookies and Conversation by grade and like my favorite song, a school itself contains multiple ages and generations at once. It represents both time passing and time suspended. From 4th-12th grade students, to colleagues at various stages of their career, to parents, to grandparents, to alums of all generations, a school community contains the entire arc of human development—the past and future merging into the present. This encourages us to be evermore broad, and expansive, and current.

Like Cookies and Conversation by grade and like my favorite song, a school itself contains multiple ages and generations at once. It represents both time passing and time suspended.

One of the things that has impressed me most about Westridge in my first year here is its commitment to this overall concept of human development—that one’s humanity and one’s development are both fundamental to education. Human Development (HD) is a signature program at Westridge; all students in 7th-12th grades take this sequential course throughout their Middle and Upper School years. The course covers developmentally relevant material from healthy decision making, to coping mechanisms, to mindfulness—material that meets students where they are as they grow and progress. Our 4th-6th graders participate in a similar program called Council, designed to help Lower School students build healthy foundations for relationships, learning, and emotional development.

I recently had the opportunity to sit in on a 7th grade HD class in which Human Development Coordinator Emily Mukai was guiding the class through an activity and in-depth conversation about emotions and boundary setting. As I watched 7th graders connect to this important topic in both concrete and abstract ways, it struck me how truly developmentally empathetic this lesson was. A few years ago, I read a book by psychologist David L. Gleason that has stuck with me: "At What Cost?: Defending Adolescent Development in Fiercely Competitive Schools." Gleason discusses the importance of "developmental empathy" in schools—the importance of respecting and prioritizing human development in curriculum, lesson design, and in the community in general. I see Westridge teachers do this every day, whether in the Human Development course or through intentional and robust conversations that reveal their profound understanding of each developmental age and stage.

As a head of school, I am very lucky that on any given day, I get to spend time in conversation with everyone—every age, every stage, and every generation, listening to memories and stories and hopes and dreams and questions and new ideas, relishing both tradition and forward thinking. It’s an incredible 360-degree view of human development and the human experience. I am grateful for it as a school leader; I am even more grateful for it as a human being. 

Click here to learn more about our Human Development program, or schedule a visit to our campus to experience our community for yourself.

About the author:

Andrea Kassar is the head of Westridge School. She has more than 20 years’ experience as an administrator and teacher at girls’ schools in New York, and is a graduate of Brearley, a K-12 girls’ school in Manhattan. She holds a B.A. in English and psychology from the University of Chicago, an M.A. in English and comparative literature from Columbia University, and an M.A. in psychology from the New School for Social Research. She is also the parent of three children—Lucy '25, Billy, and Cecily.